Justus Zimmerly / Biography

1987 - Justus Lane Martens Zimmerly: Born in Chicago, IL to Terrence and Karen.
1988 - Move to Abbotsford, BC. Watch starfish in the sea. Dump noodles on head
1989 - Brother Jordon is born.
1990 - Choke on dime. Step on bumblebee. Burn hand on BBQ. Cut eye in Ohio
1991 - Boy at church steals Easter chocolate. Crushed under an avalanche of toys after getting greedy.
1992 - Brother Joel is born. Move to Regina, SK. Get library card, Kindergarten: Not cool due to lack of action figures. Knocked unconscious by tire swing, dream of houses.
1993 - Gr 1: In trouble for enacting The Rescuers Down Under during class, pulled by ear out of class.
1994 - Gr 2: Terrified of teacher, turns out to be favourite teacher ever. Want to be a Native American.
1995 - Gr 3: Miss recess due to messy desk, become neat freak for life. Develop crush on girl that lasts for six years.
1996 - Gr 4: Obsessed with Ancient Rome. Dress as Roman centurion for Halloween. Summer camp is awesome.
1997 - Gr 5: Medieval themed birthday party. Neighbourhood infested by voles in the spring, become a hunter. Mom not impressed to find dead voles in freezer.
1998 - Gr 6: Weirdo new kid becomes best friend. Buy first skateboard, feel cool for a little while.
1999 - Gr 7: Buy CD player, discover pop music. Read the Bible from cover to cover. Start delivering news papers. Rupture spleen in bicycle accident.
2000 - Gr 8: Baggy cargo shorts, feelin’ pretty cool. Braces. Listen to “punk” music. Win public speaking competition. Obsessed with cars.
2001 - Gr 9: High school, out of my league. Driver’s license, realize driving is not all that amazing.
2002 - Gr 10: Braces off, girls still don’t talk to me. Road trip to Vancouver with mentor from church, life is good.
2003 - Gr 11: Boarding school, pretty much like summer camp all the time. First girlfriend, first broken heart. Learn to sing and act.
2004 - Gr 12: Student council president. New girlfriend, make out a lot. Make the men’s curling team, shocked. We’re actually good, more shocked. Captain of soccer team. We suck, not shocked at all.
2005 - Graduate, cry. Manage to avoid getting a real job by traveling to North Carolina, Indiana, and Florida. Start university in Waterloo.
2006 - No one cares if I go to class. Grades plummet, smiles abound. Return to Regina for worst summer of life, working 60 hours a week at Tim Hortons and serving ice cream. Saved by pop music. Student Council president. Get first longboard.
2007 - Major crush. Skip the good part and go straight to heartbreak. Saved by John Steinbeck. Spend summer slaving away surrounded by a bunch of idiots. Fall wildly in love, actually works out for once. Hit 70km/h on longboard, addicted.
2008 - Spend summer slaving away building grain bins again, this time surrounded by the people I love most. Actually a pretty good summer. Miss the Dark Knight in theatres, don’t see it for almost 5 years. Move into the Chatterbox, throw awesome parties.
2009 - Love is hard. Meet elderly gentleman on way home from grocery store, go on week long roadtrip across country. Spend summer painting.
2010 - Love is really hard, ends. Semi-unemployment makes for an awesome summer. Make videos, skateboard. Hit 90km/h, definitely still addicted. Broke, but buy plane ticket on a whim anyways, travel for two months. Even more broke, move in with parents. Crummy office job.
2011 - Winnipeg may be cold, but also very fun. Motorcycle. Relationships at 24 aren’t any easier. Move back to Ontario on motorcycle, sketchy. Live in cool apartment, work with cool people. Get paid to write about downhill skateboarding, I guess I’m still addicted.
2012 - Party hard. Get accepted to grad school. Ride motorcycle to Alaska. Save world from destruction.
2013 - Freelance journalist doing work for Sight & Sound, The Walrus, GQ, and other fine publications. Begin work on first novel. Ride motorcycle to Chile. Somehow manage to become even more handsome. Hot girlfriend.